the nanny.

Monkey is 4 months old today. He's growing up so fast. Before I know it, he'll be starting school, going to college, getting married - oh my. Today, he also spent his first day with the nanny. I was one sad mommy.

Having my mom watch Bennet this summer when I returned to work didn't seem to be that big of a deal. I don't think it seemed like I needed childcare when he was just at Grandma's house playing all day. The past two weeks since she's gone back to school, I have been pushing all of my sadness about having a nanny aside. Today, the day finally came and I was faced with a mommy fear of mine - leaving Bennet with someone else while I went to work.

It's seemed different having baby sitters in the evenings when Andrew and I have gone out for "date nights." I am not sure what the difference is, but there is something slightly heartbreaking about leaving your baby with a nanny while you go to work.

Luckily, we have a wonderful nanny, Ashley, that we found through our friends the Fenns. She is great with Paul & Elizabeth's kids, and she was great with Bennet today. Our little boy is in good hands. We are blessed to have someone we trust who comes highly, highly recommended.

Still, I couldn't help but feel a little envious of her when I asked how the day went today. She told me how they went for a walk in the park, and sat on the porch, and how she rocked him to sleep. I was jealous. I love spending the days with my little man. It's hard to share him with someone else.

On the flip-side, it was great to get into the office today and get some work done. And I even stopped on the way home at Wal*Mart and did some quick shopping, sans screaming baby. Maybe I can get used to this. I'll still be jealous, though, when she tells me all about their fun days. But, hey, it's only one day a week through the month of September and then two days a week starting in October. I think I can handle that, especially when Ashley is so wonderful.

Any sadness I felt today will surely be gone tomorrow, though, because we have a wild day ahead of us. We're walking to the library for "Mother Goose on the Loose" again with Trisha and LaVaughn and Wendy, Julianna and Logan and dropping Sophie off at the groomer along the way. Then in the afternoon, he has his 4-month appointment with Dr. Bucci. Busy day. Getting shots. Grouchy baby most definitely.

Hmmm, I may want to call the nanny to come watch him later on tomorrow evening when he's miserable from his vaccinations!